Thursday, February 29, 2024

RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 12




And so DC's first (but far from last) rendition of PLASTIC MAN ends with a bangless whimper, though at least Drake managed a few okay gags this time.




This time the hoary plot is "sidekick gets the main hero's powers." While Plas and Gordon participate in a parade, they're attacked by murderous doll-sized humans. Plas repels the attack but in the ruckus Gordon is injured. He needs a blood transfusion right away, so Plas donates his chemically-altered corpuscles, and Gordon gets stretch-talents.




Being a straight-arrow, the former sidekick presumably grows a Plastic Man costume out of his own skin and decides he'll show Plas how a proper superhero conducts himself. Naturally, he bungles all of his efforts, though at least this yields a peppy new version of the "Mabel, Mabel" song. 



Meanwhile Master Mannequin, the mad genius behind the doll-men, unleashes his shrunken pawns upon a party thrown by Miss DeLute.



Plastic Man shows up late to the party. He's almost stymied by a doll-man who takes Micheline hostage, but Gordon's inadvertent entrance distracts the crook, and so Plas is able to overcome both the dolls and their master. The hero also gets the last words of the series, "So who needs neat?" There's more poetry than truth in this statement, for the Drake PLASTIC MAN is kind of a mess. But every once in a while, he worked a few good jokes into the chaos.


RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 11

 


Here's the weakest of the three Sparling covers.






It's also another weak Drake plot. Plastic Man prevents an assassination, and that honks off Thisbey, head of a cartel that arranges professional killings. Thisbey summons Killer Joe, the world's most artistic assassin, and Joe accepts the contract, under certain stipulations. Sparling not only manages to insert a "Mutt and Jeff" pair of identical molls, but a secretary named "Miss Zeftig." Such a in-joke, veiled by a foreign-language expression, is probably the only way the editors at Sixties DC would let even an indirect reference to female boobs be printed.



Joe traps Plas with ridiculous ease. But while setting the hero up for a murder-- so that the state will execute the innocent crusader-- Plas cleverly escapes imprisonment and finds a way to prove he was nowhere near the murder scene. 





Joe then sets a minor trap to lull the hero's suspicions, and then hypnotizes Gordon into becoming a super-strong murder-machine. The spell wears off, and this forces Joe to make a frontal assault. Ironically, Plas easily defeats Joe but is almost cancelled by Thisbey. But inevitably both malefactors end up in jail, while the reader ends up with a story with a shortage of clever gags.

RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 10

 



For the last three issues of the doomed title, Jack Sparling furnished both covers and interior art. His rather scratchy art was an odd match but some of the stretch-feats are closer to Cole's model.



This time it's the old amnesia-trope. While Plas is speaking before a stadium full of people honoring his heroism, one of the grandstands collapses. Plas holds up the structure until all the innocent girl scouts get clear, but then it buries him.




The hero comes to, but not only has he lost his memory, he's absorbed the personalities of three different people he encountered. This unique diagnosis is provided by none other than Niles Caulder, the Chief of the Doom Patrol, which Drake had been writing for most of its history, and which would conclude later the same year. After the Chief delivers his diagnosis, Gordon pegs his true identity, and Caulder steps out of character to wield his wheelchair like a bludgeon.




Unfortunately, this sequence--  IMO the funniest one in all ten issues-- is succeeded by the tired plot of a villain roping the amnesiac crusader into committing crimes. The one cute idea is that Micheline is intrigued by the thought of a crooked lover-boy, and wants to be the Bonnie to his Clyde. Disgusted when she learns he's not a real criminal, she accidentally clonks him, brings back his memory, and-- you can write the rest. Sparling does draw the hottest women in all ten issues, though.


RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 9




You know sales must have been getting bad when Carmine Infantino's cover depicts the hero fighting a gorilla, and there's not so much as a chimpanzee inside.



Three thieves dressed like playing cards are routed by a plastic guy and his sidekick-- but it's not Plas and Gordy. Rather, Plas's father, the original hero from the forties, has strayed off the old people's reservation. This revelation results in a partial retelling of the Jack Cole origin and the "true origin" of the New Plas.



Plas and Gordon seek out Big Daddy at his place of business: a popular old folks' retreat. Plas soon finds out the real reason for its popularity: Woozy Winks spikes the local sulphur spring. In addition, Big Daddy was trying to get the goods on the leader of the playing-card gang because the crime-lord threatens Big Daddy's ownership of the spa. 



Plas plots to trap the crooks in a burglary attempt, but that goes south. Ironically, Woozy's alcoholic spring works out for the good guys. The gang gets drunk on the "waters" and they voluntarily confess a bunch of earlier crimes, so that their plan to take over the resort is doomed. This tale, the last contribution of Win Mortimer, doesn't boast a great plot, but I enjoyed Drake's version of Woozy Winks, even if Drake makes the character less of a doofus and more of a conman.

RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 8

 



A Carmine Infantino cover is no help this time, as the visual situation is overly busy and the gag, if it's Drake's, is one of his worst.




For the only time in the ten-issue run, an issue is split between two stories. In the first, Plas is visiting his girlfriend at a DeLute hotel. Doctor Dome shows up, intent on robbing the richies. But before the hero makes the scene, Dome and his thugs are clobbered by a new killer in town, the super-powerful Sphinx. Dome flees, and when Plas shows up, he gets distracted by that old stratagem, Tossing the Baby.





Dome then complains to daughter Lynx that three other crimes he planned were blocked by the Egyptian evildoer. He talks about some great plan he's devised, which may be offering Plas a truce until the Sphinx is defeated. The truce accomplishes its end, the Sphinx is corralled, and the long-term enemies return to their enmity-- though it's also the last outing for Dome and his devilish daughter. 





Ordinary as the Sphinx story is, it's not quite as humor-free as the other tale. In it, Plas faces a thief who can rip people off using a "gold magnet," so of course his name is "Goldzinger." Plas catches him, Miss DeLute sets the crook free with some idea of using the villain to knock off the "putty person," and Goldzinger rips her off. The rest of the story is just Plas assuming different shapes to overtake the fleeing heist artist. Naturally, there's no discussion of the possibility of charging Micheline's nawsty mothah with suborning murder.

RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 7

 




I suppose I like this one partly it was the first Drake PLASTIC MAN I bought, purchased in a secondhand store. In addition, #5 pits Plas against an international cabal of crooks, which may have inspired Drake to craft a wider variety of silly jokes.



My favorite, for example, is the name of a Russian rogue named Ivan Byturnozov. For years, I mentally pronounced the surname wrongly, until I belatedly realized the reason why parts of the name sound like "bite" and "nose."





The Russian rogue, a British bounder and a French fiend all make attempts on Plas's life, with predictable failures. But when the international crime-cabal is at its collective wit's-end, a hulking goofball, The Assassin, claims that he can do the job. After trouncing some of the crooks to show his power, the helmeted horror appears to complete the mission. But no, it's Plas in disguise, hoaxing the ne'er-do-wells. Yet the trick turns against the trickster, when the authentic Assassin shows up.




The two Assassins fight, and inevitably Plas's pliable nature is exposed. He does get neutralized by a fink with a paralysis beam, but Gordon comes to his rescue, after which Plas returns the favor. 

I've sometimes asserted that Arnold Drake was the only gag-writer in comic books who could touch Stan Lee for sheer quantity of funny lines, and the Assassin story, more than any other issue, shows the writer at the top of his game in that regard.


RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 6



A Carmine Infantino cover, the first of four, enlivens issue #4, which is the next to the last hurrah of Dull Doctor Dome.



This time Doctor Dome enlists one-shot villainess Madame Merciless, who promises that she can brainwash the Playful Play-dough Man so that he will serve Dome's evil purposes.



All unsuspecting, Plas attends a gala costume party with his girlfriend Micheline. Madame Merciless, never seen without her domino mask, uses the occasion as a pretext to get close to the hero.



Plas leaves the party with the Madame, but the truth is that he's able to resist the scheming woman's hypnotic control, but fakes subservience to suss out what she's doing. But little does Merciless know that she has competition in the hero-domination game: whip-happy Lynx, who has a nice line, "That nasty witch isn't going to get her dirty hands on him-- not before I get my dirty hands on him." So Lynx cons her daddy into letting her test Plastic Man's loyalty on a criminal enterprise.




Plas fakes going along with a theft, but Micheline and Gordon are searching for the hero since his disappearance, and they chance across the crime in progress. When the rich girl messes with the bitch girl, Lynx belts Micheline into the path of an oncoming car. Plas is forced to show his true colors, but Merciless is watching nearby, and after some complications, she manages to enslave her quarry for real.



Plas begins obeying Dome's criminal commands. But then Merciless fails to pay her hoodoo-henchmen properly, and they remotely cancel the spell on the crusader.



Recovering his senses, Plas finds himself stuck atop a high telephone wire, so of course he simply makes himself into a spring and bounces down. Ah, no, Drake kind of forgets that this stretchy fellow can't possibly be injured in a simple fall, so that he can have all three females vie for the honor of "saving" him. Doctor Dome is arrested, though apparently Lynx gets away-- which is only fair, since of the two she was a slightly better breed of malcontent. 

RAPT IN PLASTIC PT. 5

 


It's Doctor Dome's third appearance, and already it feels like his three hundredth, despite a Joe Orlando cover that's better than average.



This is another lame gimmick issue, said gimmick being that a guy called The Duke of Wheelington claims to hold a patent on all the wheels in the world. Since the cover informs us of Doctor Dome's presence within, most readers probably figured out the Duke's ID pretty easily.



Plastic Man tries to get the goods on the Duke's dirty deal, but his efforts backfire, and the world turns against him for antagonizing the Duke and boosting his "wheel tax." Micheline's nawsty mothah seems to sympathize with her daughter, but it's just a scam to con the young woman into marrying the powerful wheel-magnate.





Plastic Man finally trumps the Duke's hoax with one of his own, and then exposes the villain as-- guess who. The cover scene is faithfully replicated, for whatever that's worth, resulting in a very blah conclusion, both in writing and art.

This issue debuts the book's letter column, and one of the correspondents (assuming it's a real missive) says he likes the book but misses Woozy Winks. The editor responds that he was retired to the Old Heroes' Home.